Iowa.
This morning I went to the circus and talked with a man who was juggling on stilts. “Well ya see when I was a young boy in Texas, I went to a circus there, I loved everything about it, so when I was old enough I left home and joined one, smiles, had some great teachers,” he explained to me as the noise of the circus surrounded us.
“That’s great! I was wondering..Could I include you in an article for the Western Herald? I just started up the paper but it’s covering five areas around and including Nebraska... Your story is a very interesting one!”
“Hmm I don’t see why not,” he smiled.
“So what else can ya tell me about yourself? When did you start throwing flame throwers?”
“Hmmm I guess it was right after they taught me to walk on stilts, he says putting the fires out and setting the torches down, reaching over taking long poles and strapping his legs to them.”
“Wow...”
Jake and Chels came over then and we talked about the paper and how it was good to be back in business again. Jake suggested that I could use the pony express to deliver my newspapers. We continued to look around the circus and talked with people there. Sasha came to the circus and we played games and talked while having fun. It was great to hang out with Jake and Chels again.
Wyoming.
When I’d had enough of the circus I headed over to the Cherokee village and sat by the fire. Sounds of Thunder came in and greeted me and asked how I was doing. “I’m doing well. Things are going good in Nebraska. I just started running a newspaper there and am looking around for writers now. How are you doing?”
“This one is well,” he smiled.
“Glad to hear you’re doing well. Out wandering today or hunting?”
“This one is not good at writing. Just looking for tribe.”
“Well I’ll just have to keep looking around for a couple of people. I want a couple of writers from each area. They ain’t around today? Things are pretty empty ‘round here.”
“They haven’t been around for a few suns.”
“Hmm... Yes I came out last night and couldn’t find them. Dances with Fire was around and she came over for some apple pie.”
“Hmmm I wonder why.”
“It was okay to have her over, right? She said it was okay that she came with me because I was an adult. She was all alone... I didn’t want to leave her here.”
“I do not know she is not my child.”
“I just wasn’t sure if that was okay... She did enjoy that Apple Pie though,” I smiled.
“That is good.”
“She said she’d never had it before.”
“She came to my land also but her father knows she comes there.”
“She’s a good child. Very well-behaved. She enjoyed playing with my wolf too.”
“Yes she is. My horse had a colt last night she came to see it and to visit.”
“Oh did she? Well that’s great! I’m sure the colt is just adorable.”
“Yes it is a Pearline Paint. She liked my wolf also.”
“She has a very strong love for animals.”
“Are you alright, Trin?”
“I’m okay I just...” I looked down.
“You just what?”
“I’m lonely... Life is very quiet right now. I’m hoping that with this newspaper business will distract me enough.”
“You need a paleface warrior?”
“I need something. I’m just... I’m bored, Thunder,” I looked at him. “I see all these families and couples running around together and I just... It makes my heart ache. Is that pathetic...”
“How can you be bored? You are hiding out. You want excitement, let them find you that will bring you not bored,” he laughed.
“I suppose that’s true,” I nodded.
“You want warrior.”
“I’m trying to avoid excitement and drama and violence but...”
“But what Trin?” he asked and I shrugged. “No... only Trin has the answer.”
“Trin doesn’t even have the answer,” I sighed. “I have reunited with a couple of people from the old town in the past week, Thunder. They were both hurting and both told me stories of their past... When I held their hand in comfort I... I felt something I’d not felt in a long time.”
“Trin want to go home?”
“No....” I shook my head. “No that’s not what I’m getting at.”
“Then what does Trin want?”
“Just the comfort of a man’s touch.. I haven’t felt that in a long time. I just am realizing how much I missed it and longed for it.”
“Does Trin know who?”
“Doesn’t really matter much at this point, does it? I just long for that connection with someone again...”
“Trin this not good maiden should not be be with warrior with out marriage. It is wrong.”
“Thunder no... nothing ever happened that way... it was just holding of a hand... I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression. “I’m not that kind of woman. I was just there for my friends.”
“This one ask Dark if this one can hold your hand. I be friend.”
I sighed and said, “You’re married, Thunder.”
“You said hold hand. I shake hand with chief.”
“Thunder physical contact of any kind with a married man can get out of hand. It’s... too tempting to go down a wrong path.”
“This one not understand.”
“I’m sorry... I thought you were trying to make a point.”
“This one shake your hand,” he said and I chuckled, seeing he didn’t understand. Then he said, “Ohhh this one understands now... no can do that. Is for Dark only.”
“Exactly. When you’re promised to another woman it is wrong to have physical contact with another woman,” I said, thinking that made a lot more sense in my head.
“Yes you not speak of shake hand. This one find Trin warrior.”
“You would do that? Do you know of any?”
“Not now but this one will look.. does this one like Froggy?”
“It’s okay, Thunder. I wouldn’t want to look spcifically for one. Maybe if I stop looking then he will find me.”
“This one will talk to Great Spirit. Great Spirit will send one.”
“I’m trying to believe that,” I smiled. “Just not so good with patience.”
“Trin must have patience.”
“Maybe if I keep busy with the newspaper thing then I won’t be so lonely.”
“Trin talk to Great Spirit to. How bout Chief Hawk?”
“He is engaged.”
“My Chief not want woman.”
I thought of Chief Bear and nodded. “I know. But I will wait until the timing is right and someone will come along. My mother always told me that if I stopped looking then I would find what I long for.”
“I not look found Dark Rain.”
“Exactly.”
“Trin, it take time. Trin not worry... it happen.”
“Thank you for listening, Thunder. I’m sorry that I’ve vented to you.”
“Trin, this one help.”
“I appreciate that,” I nodded. “You are a friend. I’m not sure that others find me that comfortable around here. I’m afraid that they do not trust me as you do.”
“Trin this one find it hard to trust but this one is glad to help...”
“You’ll talk to them.. make sure they know they can trust me?”
“Trin this one is sorry this one has doubts but this one has been hurt by palefaces.”
“I can listen if you need to talk, Thunder.”
“I will talk to them though I have put thoughts in there heads already.”
“I’m sure,” I stood and sighed. “I should go home...”
“My Mother was Cherokee my Father was Paleface..the palefaces didn’t like them cause my Father married my Mother so they came one night and killed my parent and tried to kill me but I was to fast and got away.”
“Oh Thunder...”
“Since then the paleface has been my enemy.”
“I understand.”
“I was ten years old.”
“Oh Thunder...” I said again.
“But this one remembers well.”
“Some things are hard to get out of our minds, aren’t they?”
“Yes, Trin. Trin you stay in village forever?”
“I don’t know Thunder. I live in Nebraska... but it is nice to have some place to stay in case I need it.”
“You become Indian Maiden? With paleface.”
“I’m not sure, Thunder. I don’t know what the future holds.”
“Trin must learn Indian way.”
“Well... I am willing to learn but I do not make promises. I really should head home. We’ll talk soon, Thunder?”
“Safe paths, Trin,” he said and I walked out of the village, grateful for the conversation.
Georgetown.
I walked through town and found a mailbox with Karan’s name on it at a big building. I knocked on the door and then heard Mel’s voice as she called me in. I walked into the building and saw that it was a big saloon-type room with a dance floor and stage. Chane was there and we talked about how TJ and Twist were getting married. We talked about the newspaper I was starting up and how the building was possibly going to be a brothel of some sort. It was so good to catch up with them and joke about old times. Karan came in and we continued to chat about how things had changed since we’d all lived in Amiville.
Nebraska.
This afternoon I looked around home for Kale but couldn’t find him. I looked down the street and saw Adder, Mack, Jake and Chels talking with Buu and Kale. I walked over towards them and hesitated, whispering to Kale, “What’s going on?” I asked as Buu and the marshals walked away after greeting me. “What’d I just walk into?”
“Say fella, I’ll give ya one hundred coins if ya help me take down those marshals yonder,” Buu said.
“Some things never change, hmm Buu?” I raised an eyebrow at him.
“Course not, Trin. I see you are still just as nosey as ever,” he said as he pulled one of his guns out and fiddled with the trigger a little.
“Just testing the waters,” Kale smiled at me and reached into his duster to retrieve a note pad and pencil.
“I saw my friend Kale. Wanted to say hi is all,” I said to Buu.
“Of course you did,” Bu said to me.
“Kale, maybe we should head home?” I looked at him.
“What is the reason for this attack?” Kale asked Buu in a calm voice.
“Those marshals did me a dishonor once, I intend to take that honor back.”
Kale didn’t take his eyes off Buu and then looked down to me, “Nothing,” he answered and I stifled a laugh as I heard him say, “Well it seems to me that it’s between you and them.”
I walked down the street and found Zerena by my office. I talked to her about making a sign for the newspaper office. I heard a warning shot off in the distance and then heard more gunshots as Jake mentioned that this wasn’t their jurisdiction and that Dom and Charles had control of this area.
Suddenly I heard Kale go down in pain and ran back over to him. “Kale... Please, Kale...” I looked at Zerena who had run over and told her to get Hawk from his village and she ran of. “Oh Kale... Talk to me...” I looked at the man bleeding underneath me. He groaned and pushed his hands down, trying to push himself up. “Easy, Kale...”
“Where’s my gun?” Kale looked around in a daze and then went to reach for it from the ground.
“Kale... slow down...” I pleaded as I held him.
“I tried to stop him from shooting you,” he said as he looked over at me. “He got two rounds off before I even had my gun out. He tried to make me help him.”
“I know I heard that part... He offered you one hundred coins...” I took off his coat and wrapped his wound with it. “Just breathe for me, honey.”
Kale looked up and winced and then shook his head, taking off his duster. “No My pocket.......My pocket.....note.”
I nodded and took the notes out of the pocket. “Read them to me... what does it say...?”
Zerena came back then and said she still couldn’t find a doctor. I suggested that we could take him to Wyoming but then she suggested going to Iowa where there was a healer. I helped Kale move and we headed to Iowa as I took the notes from him and put them in my pocket.
Iowa.
We found a Native healer and she helped us get Kale down in a teepee as she began to heal him. “Is he going to be okay?” I asked with concern. “I found him laying after being shot down... I tried to lift him up and carried him over here.”
“We had to help him in the camp and he passed out,” she remembered and I nodded, sitting down beside him and rubbing his good arm. “Was there a fight?”
“I.. I don’t know. I heard gunshots. His shoulder and side were hit..”
“He be okay,” Zerena looked at me as the woman began to chant in time with a drum beat that was playing outside.
“Oh Kale...” I started to tear up. “God please... Keep him... here...”
The woman continued to heal Kale and I looked at Zerena, grateful Kale was unconscious and wouldn’t feel pain of her treatment. “Zerena... Can you get Hawk for me anyway please..? I ... I need to talk to him.”
“Yes, me look for him,” she nodded and walked away.
“Thank you sweetie...” I looked back at Kale an sighed, “Kale...”
“Help me take off his shirts,” the woman requested and I thought about how I wished it was under another circumstance that I’d be seeing him topless. “I see the blood coming from his side. It looks like this went through. Not too deep but it will hurt when he wakes...” she said as we took off his shirts.
“He’ll be okay though...?” I looked at her and rubbed his good arm. I looked at him and realized how attractive he was, even with gunshot wounds.
“His light will not leave him. He fight, but is strong.”
“He is a fighter,” I nodded as she started to sew up the wound. “Thank you for helping us... It... It means...”
“It is my call in life,” she nodded.
Kale started to come back and winced under the pain and started to grip for a branch from the log to put between his teeth.
“I’m just glad you’re here. Shh... Kale... you’re alright,” I gripped for his hand as the woman continued to chant and heal.
“He come shortly. He in cage in circus,” Zerena’s voice came as she walked back over.
“Thank you,” I nodded to her.
“He will wake soon,” the woman observed.
“He is... He is becoming a close....” I started but became too emotional.
“There is more movement. He has a very close call.”
The gun was pointed at me too... I’m just glad he didn’t shoot at me as well. I ran out of there fast enough, knowing him too well.”
“The wounds does not drip life...”
I looked down at Kale as he started to move a bit and moved to kiss his good shoulder. “Kale thank God...” the healer lifted the man forward to wrap an arm around his waist. Kale started to breathe and I continued to kiss his shoulder. “Come on honey... You’ll be okay...”
“You feel stronger cowboy?” she asked him as she gave him some stuff to drink that would help his pain. “Try to stay out of dangerous fight,” she advised as Kale drank down the mixture, choking down the taste. “Oh, friendly fire still hurt too. Gives you on more special healing drink. The rest will take rest.”
“Thank you,” Kale said to the woman and I kissed his shoulder again, grateful to hear his voice again.
“Good to have you back, sweetie,” I told him.
“You were in shock an out for a long time,” Little Paw told him.
“I could hear your voice,” Kale smiled at me and said weakly. “It guided me back.”
“Well Kale now we’ve got somethin else in common...” I smiled and kissed his forehead.
“It is like that with love,” the woman said then.
I looked at her in shock and said, “I.... love?”
“Your love called to him. Or some love. You do must care,” she nodded. “Or you would not have worried so much.”
I looked at Kale, then to her, unsure of my feelings for him. “I guess... I guess there’s something there isn’t there?”
Kale started to close his eyes and went unconscious again and I looked from him to the woman. “What’s going on?”
“He need rest. To fight make one tired.”
I know it... I’ve been shot down by the same man who just shot him down.”
“And to heal makes the body fight inside.”
“Where can we rest...? I don’t want to take him back to my place in Nebraska.”
“By the fire, or I can put a fur down in a vacant tipi.”
“I don’t think we should be out in the open right now...” I remembered how Buu knew where I lived now and felt a chill run up my spine.
Daso walked over then and asked if any of us were healers since a girl was looking for one. I explained to him that she was looking for one for us.
“I set up a sitting and sleeping pillow,” the healer said then. “I would let you use my fur in my tipi... but my husband is chief. And if he comes here to you both he might go nuts.”
“We would not want to compromise you. Of course,” I chuckled.
“He and you can rest here till he is stronger. Do you need food?”
“Think he’s out cold here..,” I looked at Kale. “Maybe we should just rest here...”
“It will be hard to carry him asleep,” she said.
“Miss... I ... Thank you...” I teared up and squeezed Kale’s hand, relieved he’ll be okay.
“You are welcome. I thank the Great Spirit I could help. I hope his god does not get mad. In my heart I think all are same, with different names,” she said and I smiled at her.
“My money belt...” Kale opened his eyes and looked over to his satchel.
“Your...” I looked at him. “What about it, honey?”
“I have some gold in there. I pay my debt,” he said with a smile, pointing at his bag.
“He will be okay, just don’t let him strain,” the woman warned.
“I’ll try not to,” I winked at her.
“Be gentle. To him.”
I nodded and took out the gold and handed it to her.
“Thank you,” she said and point the coins in her bag.
“As you can see these... feelings... they’re still new...” I ran my fingers through my hair, looking into his eyes tenderly.
“Sometime one does not know them till you almost lose them,” Little Paw nodded.
“I guess our deepest feelings are revealed in times of crisis, aren’t they?”
“Yes, exactly.”
“Think you can move, honey?” I asked, wanting to read his note he gave me but didn’t want to read it out in the open. I looked at the woman and said, “Miss... I’m sorry... My name is Trin. This is Kale.”
“My name is Little Paw,” the woman said.
“I think so,” Kale said and I helped him to his feet.
“Slow, hon. Slow...” I helped him up and held my arm around his waist.
“Where was this tipi?” I asked the woman and helped Kale as we headed over to the free tipi where we could lay down. Little Paw brought us over some soup and I asked her to tell both the Cherokee chief and the Cheyenne chief about the incident as I needed to talk to them about Buu being in town, and she left to give us some privacy.
I lay down beside Kale and wrapped my arm around his waist, looking deep in his eyes. I was so relieved we were theres safe together. I leaned back and pulled out the note he had given me. “Let’s see about this note, hmm? You up for talking about this or do you desperately need to sleep?” I looked at Kale, confused.
“No, I can talk,” he shook his head.
“Six marshals... Chels, Jake, Mack, Adder... who were the other two?”
“I think they may have just been cow punchers or hired men. They were with the marshals is all I know.”
“No one you recognized?”
“Okay... Well... it’s good to hear they’re still talking about the native villages being attacked... They haven’t completely forgot about the problem at least. I just wonder what they can actually do... Seems weird they were acting all skittish... but maybe that’s cause they don’t know you? I trust Taurus... but I just get frustrated with how little they seem to actually be able to do...”
“I’ve seen ‘em like that before,” Kale nodded.
“I just don’t know, Kale.. I can’t seem to talk around Jake/Chels.. something about them just rubs me the wrong way. Mack I’ve talked to about all this... But he seemed to think there wasn’t much they could do either.” I sighed and lay my head on his shoulder. “Can I ask you a question, Kale..”
“Sure,” he looked at me.
“Do you think... Could it be true what the healer said about us...? How my voice brought you back because.. I love you...?” I asked and he looked at me with a nervous look on his face. “I... I feel something for you, Kale... I’m not sure if it’s love yet but... There’s something here, I know it...” I said as he rolled over. “We don’t have to talk about this now... I just...”
“It’s been a long time since I’ve felt love,” he looked over to me. “Many years. Not sure I would ever feel it again,” he looked into my eyes and smiled, “but I too feel something when I’m with you.”
I put a hand on his shoulder and said, “I don’t want to push you into anything. I just want you to know.. I care deeply for you. I thought I’d lost you... I...”
“Shh....” he said and put a finger to my lips. “I’m not going anywhere.”
I knew I’d heard that before but didn’t say anything. I leaned my forehead against his and sighed, just relieved that we had a chance at something, whatever it might be.
He wiped my tears away and looked at me. “I’m a tough man.. but a dangerous one at the same time. Are you sure you could love a man like that?”
I smiled, thinking how Dutch had been the same way. “I can handle it, honey... I just know there’s something... here.. and I don’t want to ignore it or deny it...”
He reached over and wrapped an arm around me, pulling me close. He placed a soft kiss on my cheek and I turned my face towards his. “Wow your eyes are... Blue,” he smiled.
“Yours are... blue too... clear blue...” I looked in his eyes.
He removed my glasses and leaned in, bringing his face closer to mine. He softly pressed his lips on mine and kissed me. I felt so right kissing him and then suddenly we heard someone shouting for help. He tried to lean up but winced at his wounds and I put a hand on his shoulder.
“Easy... Someone else will help him. I hope,” I leaned my forehead on his.
“We can’t be sure,” he said, powering himself up.
“Just.. walk slow, please..?” I requested. “Let me help you?” He nodded and took out his gun from his holster, reloading it. “Put that thing away. You’re not shooting anybody tonight.”
“You heard him screaming. They might need help,” Kale looked at me.
“Kale...” I sighed and he looked for a moment at me before nodding as he holstered his weapon. “We’ll go see if we can find anyone in Nebraska... If no one’s there, we go to Wyoming and sleep there. Deal?”
“Deal,” he nodded.
Nebraska.
We walked out of the tipi and looked around as we went back towards home. He dropped down to pick up his hat that had fallen and had some blood on the brim. “Maybe we should just stay at my house in Nebraska...” I suggested.
He looked at me as he held the hat and said, “This was my father’s hat...” I could see the emotion on his face already.
“Aw honey... Let’s get you home, hon.” We walked into my house and headed upstairs. He set the duster over one of the chairs and placed the bag with it and walked over to me. I pointed to the bed and looked at him. “Get in, mister. We can’t solve all the world’s problems in one day.”
“Yes ma’am,” he said before removing his gun belt. “Sorry, um... used to sleeping with it on,” he laughed.
“Just put it on the nightstand beside the bed so it’s easy to grab,” I suggested. I still didn’t feel safe sleeping here but knew I couldn’t risk making him walk any further. He removed his boots and climbed into bed beside me. “I believe we were interrupted before... How bout we finish that kiss and then go to sleep?” I leaned forward and kissed him. I felt the warmth that I hadn’t had in such a long time and marveled at the timing of it all after talking with Thunder. I felt excited that I would have good news to tell him tomorrow.
Wyoming.
Tonight I went to Wyoming and rested there, trying to get over the emotion of the day. From finding Buu in town and from the emotions of love and concern for Kale... I was exhausted. Kale was fast asleep at home and I needed to be with the tribe to feel security.
Little Sky came into the village and asked how I was doing. “I ... I was held at gun point and the man who I’m feeling strong feelings for was shot down unconscious,” I choked back the tears. “He’s at home sleeping in Nebraska but I had to come here and talk to someone..”
“Where and when did this happen... he is ok?” she asked with concern.
“He’s ... He’s fine... It was a very close call though. It happened a few hours ago...”
“Was it paleface that attack him?”
“Harley Buu...” I nodded.
“He wanted him to shoot down one of the marshals... For one hundred coins..”
“Name is familiar...” she thought. “Was he strange looking with many paint on his face... from cir-cus?”
“He has attacked many villages in the area...”
“Will have to let Chief know, protect families,” Little Sky said.
“He knows where I live now, Sky,” I looked down. “He’s already shot me down unconscious before... And threatened me in the past... Now... Now he knows...”
“These are from men who Chief say to protect you from?”
“Just one man. I think,” I nodded. “For now anyway.. And now he’s found me just as I’d expected and I...” I looked over, tearing up as Howling Bear came over. “Howling...”
“You safe here, he not. You got protection,” Little Sky pointed at my bracelet.
“Osiyo Trin, what is wrong?” Howling asked.
“I know that Kale is safe in Nebraska ... he has his gun by his bed... But I...” I started.
“Paleface shot man she loves, and know they know she here,” Little Sky explained.
“I don’t want to leave him alone.. What am I going to do? I can’t stay here as he’s in Nebraska... but I ... I can’t walk back by myself.” I looked over at Howling and said, “It was Buu... He shot down... Kale... and held his gun... at me... He knows where I live now...”
“Sky, cover yourself please,” Howling said to his daughter with a smile. I hadn’t even noticed she wasn’t wearing a jacket or sleeves.
“I take her back?” she asked her mother.
“Itan you aren’t going anywhere dressed like that,” her mother said.
“Chief isn’t here, is he?” I asked Howling.
“If you cover yourself and be very alert,” Howling said to Sky.
“I go change,” she said and headed for her tipi.
“Buu is very sneaky and dangerous,” Howling said.
“Someone tell me what’s going on?” Howling’s wife said.
“Believe me, I know,” I nodded to him and looked over at her. “The man that I care for was shot down and I was held at gunpoint but ran away in time. My friend is in Nebraska sleeping but I had to come and tell someone here.. I just... I needed you to know that Buu... he knows where I’m living now...”
“Will let Chief know for you,” Little Sky said as she came back over.
“Right what you will do Trin until Standing returns is pull your hair out of being tied back and let it hang to cover your face. Then borrow some of my itan’s clothes and hide in plan sight,” Sky’s mother advised and I nodded to her.
“That does not change that you are protected here,” Howling insisted.
“You mean disguise myself as if I look like you..” I looked at her.
“Yes Trin, this time of year we are wrapped up in hides. You can blend in,” she nodded. “Itan, go fetch Trin a wrap and a pair of boots.”
“Yes mother,” Sky nodded.
“Let me go with her... we’ll change in the asi,” I said.
“And you should be safe... nobody bothers two native women going to the traders,” Howling promised.
I changed into a brown dress that had a Native pattern on it and then Grey Owl walked over. “Perhaps Sky’s fiancé should accompany us?”
“Now you may hide in plain site until standing gets here..as we all look alike to the whites..” Howling Bear said.
“I will wear this until I hear from Chief to do otherwise,” I smiled.
“Sound good, seem many paleface women have trouble with paleface men too,” Sky smiled.
“Thank you for helping me. I just... I knew I had to come talk to some people here,” I said and looked back at Sky. “We should get back to Kale... I don’t want to leave him long.”
“Would be safe here, no?”
“I want to go back to Nebraska with him. We’ll be safe together... He is armed. And frustratingly stubborn in using it when he has to,” I sighed.
“Howling could say the same about me Trin,” Howling’s wife chuckled.
“We heard that a boy was shouting that he was being taken away and Kale wanted to go after him. He even reloaded his gun and I told him he’d just come to, we weren’t going to save the world in one night. I have no idea what happened to that boy but I was more concerned about keeping Kale okay at that point... He’d been shot in the side and the shoulder... It was a very close call.” I looked at Sky and asked, “Your fiancé will come with us?”
“You sure you aren’t a blackfoot, Trin? Because you are as stubborn as one,” Sky’s mother looked at Grey Owl. “Can you go with Sky and Trin and protect them both?”
“Come with me and take Trin home,” Sky said to him.
“Of course we will see her home safely,” he smiled.
“Let Chief Bear know I need to speak with him?” I looked around.
“Be careful and watch out for the white man called Buu,” Howling warned.
“We will Trin,” Howling’s wife nodded and we headed home where I thanked them for their protection and went inside.
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