November 12, 1869

Kansas.

This afternoon I went over to Hawk’s village and talked with the tribe there. We talked about the Cherokee village and how most were welcoming and understanding of my situation. I talked with the rest of the tribe and then headed for Nebraska, then decided to go visit the Cherokee tribe.  

Wyoming. 

I walked nervously into the village and greeted Ahawi and Thunder. “I feel conflict in my spirit, though I’m uncertain why,” I admitted. 

“What is wrong Trin?” Ahawi asked. 

“Have you talked to the Great Spirits?” Thunder wanted to know. 

“Not recently...” I sighed. 

“Explain your feelings Trin,” Ahawi invited. 

“Then maybe you should,” Thunder suggested. 

I looked between them and said, “I fear that there may be some in your tribe who might not trust my presence... There was a large group here at the campfire when Chief explained why I would be staying overnight... Not all of them spoke, some of them didn’t look in my direction..”

“Is understandable Trin,” Ahawi said. 

“Is your name ‘Trin’, I think,” Thunder suggested. 

“Yes it is,” I nodded to him. 

“Palefaces have caused much bloodshed. But all will obey the chief, so you are safe. You are a stranger to them, and time will make them see you are friend.” 

“Trin...” Thunder looked at me. “Palefaces killed my family even though my Father was a paleface, only because he loved an Indian woman...it’s hard to trust.” 

“I understand... It is hard for me to trust new people too... But there was something about the chief that showed I could trust him.. that he would protect me.”

“Yes, he is wise warrior,” Ahawi agreed. 

“And I trust my chief and will do as he asks of me,” Thunder said. 

“You will just have to trust his ways,” Ahawi said. 

“I’m sorry if I interrupted the conversation you were having before I arrived,” I said and stepped back. 

“No, we were just talking about his new child,” Ahawi told me. 

“You have not interrupted we were talking of my daughter and wife,” Thunder said. 

“The name I’m not to mention,” I remembered, since we were keeping his wife safe by not mentioning her name. 

“Yes,” Thunder nodded. 

“I recall. Have you perhaps seen a native named Ayashe around lately..?”

“Not that I recall,” Thunder shook his head. 

“I have not seen her since the buffalo hunt,” Ahawi shook her head. 

“A friend?” Thunder asked. 

“Do you need her for something?” Ahawi asked. 

“I am nervous for her,” I thought back and realizes that it had been three days since we talked.

“Why are you nervous for her?” Ahawi asked. 

“She came to the village briefly. Chief tried to speak with her but she was very afraid. She said that her paleface man was coming back in three days and that she could no longer hunt on her own after that. She seemed very afraid of him. I was hoping perhaps she’d come back to the village..”

“I have not seen her, now Ahawi is worried. Does chief know of this paleface?”

“He spoke with her. Tried to convince her to stay with the village. But she would not stay.”

“Who is this girl, Ahawi?” Thunder asked. 

“Ayashe was very afraid. I spoke with my friend who is a marshal where she lives... He said he would keep an eye out but I have not heard anything...” I explained. 

“I did not know of this, I have only seen Ayashe twice but did not know of her life,” Ahawi said. 

“You have seen her twice?”

“She is a kind woman, I hope no harm has come to her.” 

“I hope that too but I fear for her... Am sorry to alarm you both, I just wanted to see if she’d been around.” I looked around, still feeling like I’d intruded. 

“I swam with her after the buffalo hunt. Then once before I saw her sitting by the fire, she was very quiet that time.” 

“Was this before three days ago?” I asked. 

“I will ask Dark if she has seen her she was there swimming also,” Thunder promised. 

“The hunt was the night before I met Ayashe,” I said. 

“Yes, it was several days ago,” Ahawi nodded. 

“The timeline makes sense then. She didn’t speak much English.”

“I hope she is well.” 

“I hope that too, Ahawi...”

“I have seen Chief Hawk.” 

“Have you, Ahawi?” I smiled at the sound of my friend’s name. 

“I was on a journey collecting herbs, I took rest in his village. He is well.” 

“Oh good... Yes I was there just before coming here as well.”

“I am sure his is please you have been kept safe.” 

“They were very pleased that I was welcomed here as well. It is good to have defenses on both sides of my home in Nebraska.”

“I hope that you are kept safe Trin.” 

“Can I ask a question of you.. Trin?” Thunder asked me. 

“Of course, Thunder. I am an open book.”

“Why is it you will not carry a weapon?” 

“It is in my experience that holding a weapon is like offering an invitation... it’s as if they then seek ways in which to make you use said weapon. If I come without a weapon, maybe people will see me as a person of peace, wanting to use my words to solve conflicts instead of weaponry.”

“But when they point a fire stick at you your words don’t stop their bullets.” 

I nodded, knowing that was true. “Thunder... Weapons in my life have always represented violence, not protection.”

“Our people do not go to their village or town looking for them it is them that come here to us so we use them for protection. And hunting.” 

“I understand that completely,” I nodded. “It’s just that.....” I looked down. “I have scars, Thunder... From weapons being used in the wrong way against me. I’m obviously not good at protecting myself from them... so I might as well not put more of a target on my back.”

“This one thinks Trin needs to go up on mountain to be near to Great Spirit and have talk. The Great Spirit will guide you Trin.” 

“I believe that God has led me here, Thunder. He has led me to be with the people who have protected me for months... to help them prevent more attacks from the same people who attacked me. It is time to show that I am not afraid, that I will use whatever is in my power to come against the evil that would harm your people.”

“The Great Spirit will put your heart at rest Trin,” Thunder promised.

I sighed, wishing that was true. “Thunder... I do not feel safe going places alone. On the walk here a deer passed in front of me and it made me jump out of my skin. My spirit is not yet at peace, though I know that I can trust your people.”

“Then sit by the fire in the safety of the village. It’s getting colder every night now.” 

I looked around anxiously, then smiled at how in all cultures the way to avoid an awkward silence is to talk about the weather. “Winter is coming.”

“Do you think the snow comes?” 

“I do not know... Does it snow here?” I asked and he just laughed. “I think I will go rest in my asi for a while... Thank you for chatting with me, Thunder. You have shown me kindness.”

“You rest well, Trin. Safe paths.” 

I looked around anxiously before heading back to my asi, assuming Ahawi had wandered off somewhere. 

When night had fallen, I looked around the village and wondered where everyone was. I found a horse and held out my hand to it, showing that I was friendly. Dark Rain and Sounds of Thunder walked over and I talked with them as I pet the horse. A dog wandered over and there was no collar on him. 

“HALP HALP DADDY GOTTED KICKEDED BY A HORSY!” Dances with Fire shouted. 

I gasped and ran in the direction of the child’s voice. I found Howling Bear being attacked by a horse and he looked at the little girl behind him. “Fire stay behind me..” 

“Are you alight, Howling?” I asked him, concerned as Fire hid behind me. “Let’s back up a bit... give him some room.”

“DONT HURT MYS DADDY!!” Fire shouted at the horse. 

“Yes so far ..seems the horse feels our garden is fair game...” Howling said and the horse continued to bar his teeth to defend the piece of corn underneath its feet. “Watch it Thunder he kicks..” Howling warned as the others walked over with me. 

Fire threw a rock from her pouch, in the direction of the horse. She didn’t hit it but it made a loud thunk between the horse and Howling. “Don’t hurt mys daddy horsey!” 

Thunder made kissing noises to the horse and said, “Come on girl, let’s go.” 

“Fire, stay back. The men will handle this,” I told the child and the horse reared at the sound of the rock dropping, screaming threateningly and scaring the little girl. 

“Fire do what your told for a change and stay back,” Howling said to the child. 

“Come on,” Thunder insisted to the horse. 

“I am backs daddy,” Fire insisted. 

“I’ll take her back to the village if you boys are okay here? If you men,” I corrected myself and noted the look of displeasure from Thunder. 

“If you can Trin thank you ..I didn’t want her hurt but nor did I want her eating the winter food...” Howling nodded to me. 

“I’m sorry, Thunder. In paleface villages we talk to each other differently I suppose. I am still learning,” I looked down and said to Thunder. Then I nodded to Howling and said, “Understood, Howling.”

“AW MAN REALLY!!!” Fire shouted with frustration. 

“What is going on?” Ahawi asked, coming over. I watched Thunder walk back to the village and sighed, knowing I had messed up. 

“What is going on?” Dark Rain asked. 

I looked around then, realizing Fire had disappeared. “Fire, where are you? I was going to take Fire back to the village because Howling is shooting down a deer... I asked the boys if they were okay, not thinking. I should have said men. I think your husband may be upset with me.”

“Oh...” Dark nodded. 

“In my village we spoke more casually with the opposite gender. It’s just habit. I feel awful now,” I looked down. 

“I will try to speak with him,” Dark promised. 

“Please do. I mean no disrespect.”

“But is everyone alright?” 

“I don’t know where Fire got to. She was out here and I offered to take her back to the village and Howling said that was wise. I turned around and now I can’t find her.”

“Fire!” Dark shouted for the child and we ran around, calling for her. I found the horse that had been attacking Howling nuzzling against Ahawi, appearing to have calmed down now. 

“Howling, did you see Fire run this way?” I asked Howling, concern in my voice. 

“No.” 

“I was going to take her to the village but I turned around to find her and she was gone.” I started to panic. 

“She is with Standing I thinks,” Howling said. 

“Did you find her?” I asked, but didn’t make eye contact with Thunder who was standing beside Howling Bear. 

“I got her. I have her sitting by the fire drying out,” Thunder said. 

I sighed with relief and said, “Oh good...”

“I think I spotted her between the huts,” Howling said. 

“I told her not to move,” Thunder laughed. 

I started to calm down and looked slowly up at him. “Thunder... Sir... I... I am sorry...” I started but Thunder just walked away and I sighed again as Dark came over. I looked at Howling and said, “Howling... I am sorry for how I spoke to you earlier. I should have addressed you with more respect. Back in the towns I was just one of the boys. They welcomed me as one of their own so we just spoke casually with one another.”

“I will speak with him Trin...” Dark promised me. 

“Trin... I know your heart is good... it just takes time with some,” Howling smiled. 

“This is all new to me... The only Natives I interacted with on a regular basis were Hawk and Sasha...”

“It is hard for some to forgive..and Thunder is very bitter..” 

“And then I try to help you both but then lose Fire in the process...” I sighed. 

“Fire will be fine... she takes after me with falling in the water.. I am going to have to teach her to swim.” 

I nodded and said, “Shall we go back to the village? Looks like I have a new shadow here in this wolf... Hmm... Shadow... What do you think, boy?” I looked down at the dog. He barked and jumped around and I smiled. “Think he likes it.”

“Seems so,” Howling grinned. 

We walked back to the village and I went over to give Fire a big hug. “Thank God you’re okay!”

“C-ca-ant breavs,” Fire giggled. 

“Don’t scare me like that again, Missy,” I winked at her. 

“Daddyyyy horsey!” Fire pointed to the horse. 

“Yes Fire. Seems Ahawi knows this horse...” Howling nodded. 

I let the child go and walked over to Chief Standing Bear, and pointed to the wolf at my side. “Chief... seems I’ve got a new bodyguard.” 

“Ahawi, if paleface come looking for this horse and find it here, they they we steal and start fight, maybe kill some of our people,” Chief warned the woman about the horse. 

“This is the horse that we took the ropes off of,” Ahawi explained as I leaned down to pet the wolf. “He has been abused. Shall we turn him over to him to keep abusing?” 

“And Paleface abuse our people if they think we steal horse,” Chief raised an eyebrow. “Horse cannot speak, Paleface can.”

“He speaks. He speaks in the way of nature Chief.” 

“You drink Paleface firewater?” Chief looked at her. 

Ahawi put her hands on her hips and said, “You know what I mean, just because he does not use words does not mean he does not show his feelings.” 

“Ahawi... Winter come and you want us to have one more animal to feed. We already have plenty pony. Paleface come, think we steal they burn village.” 

“I don’t know what to say, look at him...” Ahawi said as the horse touched his nose to her hand and I fed Shadow as I listened. 

“Maybe you give to Paleface so she have horse to ride,” Chief grinned at me. 

I chuckled and said, “Then the other Palefaces will come after this Paleface thinking that I stole the horse.” 

“Maybe...” 

“I will do as you ask chief. But I cannot make him leave,” Ahawi insisted. 

“I’m not willing to take the chance any more than you are, Chief,” I said. 

“And if he not leave, then what? You share your food with him?” Chief looked at Ahawi. 

“If you want to throw him out of our village you will have to do that yourself. I have been sharing my food with him,” Ahawi said. 

“Thunder, could we... Could I speak with you and Dark Rain a moment...?” I asked Thundre hopefully. 

“Yes,” he nodded as Ahawi and Chief continued to argue about the horse. 

We walked off to behind the asi’s and I looked between Dark Rain and Thunder nervously. “I just wanted to privately apologize, Thunder. I am sorry for speaking to you disrespectfully before. I worked with many lawmen who treated me as one of their own. We were very casual with how we spoke with each other. I understand that this is not the way of your people and I apologize. I meant no disrespect.” I looked at him with regret in my eyes, and then to Dark for help. 

“I understand you do not know of our ways and for that I will be patient. There is no reason for you to worry Trin, all is well,” Thunder promised. 

I smiled with relief and said, “Thank you. I just wanted you to know I was deeply in the wrong and will learn your ways better.”

“It will take time we are different than the paleface and I know some of our ways might seem strange to you,” Thunder said. 

“It will just take time. But thank you again for your kindness. Both of you,” I nodded to him. “I know that Palefaces are not usually looked on positively. I hope to change that image.”

“Time Trin time...” 

I looked up at the sky and saw the stars coming out. “Speaking of time.. It’s time I should head home. What do you say, Shadow? Time to take a walk?”

“That may be a good change,” Dark nodded. 

I said goodnight to them and went back to the village to say goodnight. I asked them to say goodnight to the chief and they promised that they would. 

As I headed back towards home I saw a man that I recognized as a lawyer back in Amiville. “Howdy ma’am,” he tipped his hat towards me. 

“Jim! It has been so long!”

“Has been a spell. What you doing in these parts?” 

“Well Jim I live in Nebraska now... But I visit the surrounding Native tribes around the area... This here is... my wolf , Shadow. At least for tonight. Who knows how long he’ll follow me around for,” I winked. “Shadow, Jim is friend.”

“You escape that bunch of hoodlums down south?” 

“Needed to get out of there. Life is much more peaceful out in these parts,” I nodded. “At least for me... the natives have had a tough go lately though.”

Jim looked at the dog and fed it some jerky which Shadow gobbled up quickly. “Injuns acceptin of you here?” 

“Yes... They have welcomed me into their villages and I can go there for protection and peace. It’s a fresh start, Jim. I needed to settle down somewhere I felt safe, where I knew I wouldn’t be haunted constantly. How are you doing? Where abouts are you living now?”

“Who let ya into to the Cherokee? They usually don’t let whites get that close.” 

“Chief Bear is good friends with Chief Hawk in Kansas...” I smiled. “They spoke with each other about my situation and I guess it touched Chief Bear’s heart... and he allowed me to come and visit. I even have an asi there when I need it.’

“I’m just traveling here and there, get a client now and then.” 

“Still working as a lawyer then?”

“Still lawyerin ever chance I get.” 

“You trust old Standing Bear?? He’s as cantankerous as a bobcat with porcupine quill in his nose.” 

I raised an eyebrow and asked, “Why on earth would you say something like that? Chief has showed me nothing but kindness and trust.”

“Well I know the old buzzard and he can be a hard case when he wants to.” 

“He protects his people,” I looked at him disapprovingly. 

“That he does but if he wakes up on the wrong side of the bed he hard to get along with. And... Now that he ain’t got no woman, he’s even worse.” 

“I assure you Jim... I believe him to be trustworthy,” I looked at him. 

“Course ugly as that old reprobate is not many womenfolk would have him, much less bed down with him,” Jim laughed. 

I thought of the two times that the chief and I had been in a cave alone and how the chief had nothing but listen and comfort me. “Jim I won’t hear you speak of a friend of mine like that. If you have your opinions that’s your right but I trust the man,” I said, getting angry. 

“Well just sayin ma’am. I been knowin him for quite a spell.” 

“Hawk has known him for quite a spell too.”

“Why are you near our village?” Ahawi asked Jim, as she walked towards us. 

“Squaw I’m jus passin thru and happened to meet Trin here,” Jim explained. 

“Ahawi, Jim is a friend. I’ve known him a long time. He is a lawyer from the first town I lived in,” I told her. 

“So, Trin why you so upholding of Old standing Goat or whatever his name is?” Jim asked me. 

“Change your tone, Jim. I mean it,” I glared at him and saw another man walking over to the village and remembered him as being the one who went there unannounced before. 

“You ain’t got eyes for him have ya?” Jim laughed. 

“And the other?” Ahawi asked of the stranger who wandered in. 

“The other... I saw him come into the village unannounced recently. Chief told him to follow the rules of announcing oneself and he didn’t listen,” I told her and Ahawi shot Jim a dirty look as I glared at him too. “That’s the first thing you men think of, isn’t it?”

“Disgusting paleface,” Ahawi mumbled. 

“Well, reckon most of your women folks think alike,” Jim pointed to the Ahawi, “ Don’t know much about how squaws think.” 

“Are we done? I need to head back home,” I gave him a firm look. 

“After not seein’ you all that time, we done visitin’ already?” 

“You speak disrespect about people that have protected me. Not to mention disrespect about my own intentions.”

“Naw I actually like the old buzzard but I’m tellin ya he can be hard to get along with,” Jim said. I thought to myself, Kind of like you? but I kept my mouth shut as Jim asked, “Squaw you steal that horse?” 

“No paleface,” Ahawi stared at him. “This horse came to us, he is wild horse. He belongs to the great spirit.” 

“Trin you know this squaw?” Jim asked me. 

“She is a friend. Fine Jim, you want to talk, let’s go back to Nebraska.”

“I think I’ll have a look at her,” Jim said and I rolled my eyes. “Squaw, come over here, let me have a look at ya.” 

“Jim,” I said firmly. 

“What, Trin?” 

“Let’s go to the saloon in Nebraska and talk.” 

“You are close to village and many warriors,” Ahawi warned. 

“Ain’t afraid of no injuns. You need to talk?” Jim looked at me. 

“You’re not giving off the best first impression here,” I said. 

“We talk here.” 

“Yeah, you and I need to talk.”

“Squaw what them injuns call you?” Jim asked Ahawi. 

“Jim,” I said more sternly. 

“Hold yer horses, Trin. I’ll be right with ya.” 

“I am Ahawi, and I am Cherokee,” Ahawi told her. 

“Squaw, you have a man?” 

“I am a maiden.” 

“How come ya ain’t married?” Jim asked and I sighed, thinking to myself, Typical. 

“I have not found a warrior who is worthy yet.” 

“None of them injuns have you?” Jim laughed. 

“I a half breed, my mother English,” Ahawi said and I chuckled as I saw Thunder walk over. This oughta be good, I thought to myself. 

“Maybe I come back and see you,” Jim grinned. 

“This paleface man has bad mouth,” Ahawi told Thunder. 

“Squaw maybe that brave there marry you,” Jim suggested about Thunder. I thought to myself that I should just leave him there to clean up his own mess and then Jim said, “Trin you reckon she’d want to marry up with me?” 

“He is married to my sister. Paleface not worry about me marrying,” Ahawi insisted. 

“Jim I reckon neither of us want to marry you right now. I have half a mind to let them have their way with you.”

“Maybe you right,” Jim laughed. “She is kinda purty.” 

“Time to go back to village,” Thunder insisted then. 

“I will marry Cherokee warrior, not paleface,” Ahawi insisted then nodded to Thunder. 

“Make em take a bath first squaw,” Jim nodded to Thunder. 

“Wafer thin ice,” I glared at Jim. 

“Trin where you wanting to drag me off to?” Jim smirked. 

“Trin you want to eat with us?” Thunder asked. 

“I would but this ingrate has some lecturing to get back in Nebraska. I’ve known him a long time... since Amiville. You know how lawyers can get,” I said to Thunder. 

“If they got any good grub we eat with them,” Jim said. 

“I am sorry, Thunder. He’s harmless really, just doesn’t know when to shut... to be quiet,”  I shook my head. 

“You sure you’re alright?” 

“I’m alright but he ain’t gonna be,” I said, noticing how Jim was hiding behind me and I chuckled. 

“Trin you got that friendly with these injuns?” Jim asked. 

I looked at him and gave him a look telling him to shut it, then looked back to Thunder. On second thought, yeah maybe I should eat with you tonight.”

“Come Dark is waiting for us.” 

“Well Trin, you changed a lot since I saw you last,” Jim observed. 

“So have you,” I looked at him. 

“Now I ain’t got much against injuns... but living with em?? Na you go with yer injuns. I be movin on.” 

“Jim...” I looked at him and didn’t even know what to say so I stood, stunned and speechless. I looked back at Thunder and said,  “Let’s go, Thunder.” I followed Thunder into the village and kicked a stone at nothing in particuler. 

“Are you in danger?” Ahawi looked at me. 

“Not as much as he’s gonna be,” I assured her about Jim. 

“He has bad mouth,“ Ahawi said as the others welcomed me back. “I did not want to leave you with him.” 

“What wrongs Trin?” Fire asked. 

“I appreciate that,” I nodded to her. 

“Chief said to protect you,” Ahawi said. 

“It is good to know you stand by your promise,” I smiled a thanks to Thunder. 

“Sounds like you had a run in with the wandering Mexican,” Howling said. 

“No Bear, another paleface,” Ahawi said. 

“It’s not safe for you to leave village tonight,” Thunder insisted to me. 

“I have known that man since my time in Amiville. I’d spoken with him about the issues I was having with some outlaws there... I was going to call on him to be a lawyer for me if it came to that but it never did. I never saw him after that... until now.”

“What is with them lately... they act like brother boar,” Howling muttered. 

“He is not good man. He is lucky I did not shoot him,” Ahawi said. 

“He was talking badly about the tribe... about the chief... and I lost it. I thought he was on my side but... I won’t hear of anyone speaking badly about this tribe.”

“Now someone knows your here,” Thunder sighed. 

I looked down, feeling guilty for even speaking with him. I knew Thunder was right and swallowed nervously. 

“I haven’t seen him in months,” I looked around pleadingly. “I never expected to see him again. Especially not here.”

“How did he know you were here Trin?” Ahawi asked. 

“He said he was just passing through. I don’t think he actually knew I was here.”

“Well he knows your close but not in the camp,” Howling said. 

“Right, Howling. I told him we’d go back to Nebraska and talk but... He seemed more interested in talking to Ahawi.”

“No Bear, she told him she was friend of Cherokee,” Ahawi told him. “I will shoot myself before going with paleface.” 

“As far as he knows you are friends but not protected by us,” Howling said. 

“He is not worthy of Cherokee bride,” Ahawi looked at me. 

“Or Paleface bride for that matter,” I muttered as Chief Standing Bear sat and listened to us talk. 

“If I see him again I will shoot him,” Ahawi said. 

“Sorry was still watchin where the Mexican went too,” Two Stars said. 

“Chief, you know that man who came in unannounced before?” I looked at him. 

“Yu shuda killed him when yu had da chance Trin,” Fire said then and then bit her lip and went quiet. 

“I saw him wandering out there as well, while I was talking with Jim,” I said. “I don’t think I ever learned his name. But I saw him in the bushes there.”

“Chief, two palefaces have been here,” Ahawi told the chief. “One was lawyer to Trin. Other was Mexican.” 

“Was going to be a lawyer to Trin,” I corrected her and sighed, walking over to the chief. “I ran into a friend of mine on the way back to Nebraska. He was a lawyer back in Amiville. I had spoken with him about the troubles I’d been through and how I could possibly need a lawyer.”

“He speak for you?” Chief asked. 

“This was months ago Chief... I never saw him after that.”

“Trin, you has a doggie?” Fire asked me randomly and her father quieted her. 

“Nothing ever came down to a trial, I never needed him in reality. I honestly never thought I’d see him again. But when I spoke with him he seemed to be concerned for me... His name is Jim. That’s all I know.”

“Jim?” Chief looked at me. 

“He said he was passing through the area tonight, asked what I was doing out here.”

“Bad mouth paleface,” Ahawi muttered. 

“He have black curly hair?” Chief asked and I nodded. 

“I told him I was going home to Nebraska and how I had been visiting here... He started to speak badly of you, of the tribe... Said he knew you. I told him that you had shown me nothing but trust and kindness and that he wasn’t to speak that way of you.”

“I think I know who you speak of. He talk much, say little,” Chief said. 

“Then Ahawi came over and he started to ask if she was single,” I nodded to him in agreement. 

“I will shoot him if he looks at me again,” Ahawi said. 

“I know who you speak of,” Chief stated. 

“I tried to get him to just join me back in Nebraska and we’d talk... but he was insistent on getting to know Ahawi. He said he’s met you several times.”

“He has bad eyes,” Ahawi said. 

“He speak truth,” Chief walked over to me and nodded, then looked over at Ahawi. “Bad eyes?” 

“Mean,” Ahawi said. 

As Chief walked over, I looked down on the ground and he said, “Do not break your friendship with him.” 

“But he...” I started. 

“He has mean spirit. He have eye for women... but,, it is said around many paleface towns that when he speak in white mans court. He different man... say he know who to speak before many they call Judge.” 

I thought of how I had never actually seen the man in court officially and looked down, listening. 

“They say he very good at what he does when he speak in court. Maybe you should not be mad long at your friend. Maybe you need him.” 

I wiped the tears of anger at Jim’s words, my emotion getting to me, and looked at him. “But... Why on earth would I...? Need him?”

“If you have to go to white mans court, can you speak for yourself?” Chief asked me as I heard the others whispering to each other. “I have done one case as a District Attorney in Colorado Springs and won handily. I didn’t even have to give my closing statement. Of course it helps that the defendant started lying on the stand.” 

“Well you do what you think best to do,” Chief said. “If you do not want to see this Jim again, shoot him.” 

“I don’t know what is best. I don’t know who to trust anymore. He looked at me as if I had two heads for living with your tribe.”

“Trin... take a deep breath and sleep on it. Right now you going around in circles and it’s not gettin you any wheres. just stay close to village,” Two Stars advised and I nodded to her. “Time will tells who you can trust or not.”

“Maybe he have eyes for you and... think you have eyes for chief,” Chief suggested.

“He did ask if I fancied you that way... I told him you have shown me nothing but kindness and trust.”

“Who knows with men. They think one thing but we women another,” Two Stars smiled. 

The conversation turned to talking about the new dogs and a man that had come into the village, but I looked down in shame at the chaos I’d brought to the village. Another woman wandered in without being announced and she said that people would fear the tribe less if they were nicer to their guests. I knelt down to Shadow and whispered that it was time for bed as they continued to argue with the woman. We headed over to the asi and I crawled in but then had a sudden nightmare of being in the cave and started to cry, feeling my whole body tremble. The new lady who’d come into the village and I tried to calm down as she said her name was Wyanet. The woman continued to try and calm me as I found a horse nearby and nuzzled against him, trying to calm down. 

“Would you like me to sit with you until you fall back to sleep?” Wyanet offered. 

“Thank you... You are very kind... My name is Trin, by the way...”

“You are welcome...Trin,” she smiled. 

“I am a friend of Chief Bear’s,” I said, more calmly now. “He’s offered me protection here... A place to heal from my past.”

“Chief is a good friend and man if he lends you our protection then you have nothing to worry about while you are here.” 

I thanked her again and then lay down on the rug, trying to settle again as I fell back asleep.