March 20, 1870

Colorado. 

This morning I walked out of my office and waved to Kallie. I saw another sign posted on my building and sighed. “Honestly these people... don’t they ask for permission before they go hanging things around people’s places of business? Wonder if this one actually has all the information it needs. Last one didn’t even give the time of the event.” When Kallie laughed I looked over and said, “You laugh but it’s true. Ah it’s the pony express asking for help... They could’ve asked….” 

“Naw they wanted to post it on your building in stead,” Kallie giggled. 

“How’s your mornin’ going?” 

“Good, I just got up and came to for a walk. How is your?” 

“Just goin to get some coffee and then hopefully find out about some news somewhere... The paper’s pretty empty this week so far. You haven’t heard anything, have you?” 

“No... seems I have been out of touch though I had a flasher on my front porch." 

“Oh that’s always fun” I chuckled and saw the colt that kept wandering over towards me. “Look, there’s my shadow.” 

“See you later,” Kallie giggled and walked off. 

I reached out to the colt and pet him before heading to the saloon. 

*** 

A few hours later a little girl walked over to me in the street. “May I ask question?" 

“Sure.” 

“How much moneies is it to put an advertisement in the paper?” she asked. 

“What’s the ad for?" 

“I want a nanny." 

“Oh do ya?” 

“Yes miss.” 

“What’s your name and how old are you? Maybe I could write the ad up for you.” 

“I’m Mena and I am this many,” she said and held up four fingers.

“Where are you living right now?” 

“Sometimes with the mayor and sometimes at the Inn.” 

“How about I’ll put in an ad for you and then they can see me if they’re intersted? And I’ll find you if I hear something,” I smiled. 

“How much do you think I should pay for the Nanny?” 

“Hmm…” I thought about that, not having any clue. “Well... how much do you think you can pay the nanny?” 

“I think 40 coins a week, to teach me and help me with lunch I think.” 

“That sounds reasonable. Can I take a picture of you and then we can put your pretty face beside the ad? Where would you like me to take the picture of you?” 

She shrugged and I went to send a telegram for my brother to meet us at the hotel. He came over and I introduced the two of them before Josh took a picture of the girl for the paper. I told Mena that I’d be in touch with her about any responses and we went to develop the pictures at the office.

*** 

This evening I sat at the campfire in Devil’s Ditch and thought about everything that had happened that week. I wondered if I was in for more heartache with the revelation of my background that I’d learned about. I stood, knowing I needed to talk to Tala, and soon. I saw Tala with her bucket by the river and sighed with relief. 

“Tala, we need to talk…” I started. 

Tala filled her bucket and then turned when she saw me. “Dago Te, News Lady.” 

“I need to talk to you... Somewhere... Safe.” 

“No where is safe for me anymore. This will have to do,” she looked around and chuckled with a shrug. 

“I have something to tell you that will not go over well if anyone from town hears it. But you need to hear it... and I need you to tell Chief Nah that I want to speak with him about it.” 

She set the bucket down and tilted her head to the side. “What is it?” 

“Can you read, Tala?” I took out my documents from my pocket. 

“Some. Nah helps me,” Tala shrugged. 

I nodded and knew that she would only understand the word ‘Apache’ on the document. I showed her the page and said, “That’s proof that I’m... part-Apache.. Four generations back. I just found out. My brother was looking through some files since going over our father’s estate.” 

She looked at the paper, shrugged, and looked at me. “How you know this is true? Who would put that on paper?” 

“The government does this kind of information on families and pulls it together for estates of people so that when they pass..” I paused, putting the papers in my pocket quickly as a man passed on a horse. “Tala I wouldn’t show you or tell you if it weren’t true.” 

“I will tell Nah, but... I’m not sure what you want. He has little trust of anyone lately,” Tala nodded and sighed. 

The Mexican on the horse rode by with his revolvers in the air and shot upwards, shouting, “Que viva Mexico!! Ale caballo run!” 

I didn’t feel safe around the Mexican but I saw that he was speaking Spanish and kept talking to Tala. “Tala, I’m telling you this because this information could get me killed if it were in the wrong hands. I want Chief Nah to know how sincere I am about his people, as I tried to show the other night in Kingsley.” I was still unsure about being out in the open and looked back at Tala, my fear obvious. 

“There is little you can do for my people if you can’t stand up to your own. I am afraid Nah is right about that. How can you help us if you can’t tell the stories in your paper?” Tala chuckled. 

I sighed and wondered if they were all right. Maybe I was just a coward. “I may be able to help without having to actually put anything to print.” 

“How?” 

“I tell Chief Nah information about what’s in the paper, what people are believing about the Apache and what they’re doing... and vice versa I tell people around town that maybe it wasn’t the Apache’s that are doing everything that’s going on. Maybe I change people’s perspectives of the Apache.” 

Tala sighed and shook her head sadly. She stepped closer to me and nodded, pointing to the town. “Not one blink of an eye passes that you don’t look to the town, hoping no one will see you speak with me. You are afraid. And if you are afraid, then how can we believe you will tell our story when it might not be good for you? You have papers that say you are Apache......but you live in the white world. One day, soon, you will have to choose one world or the other.” 

I swallowed hard, wondering if I would have to choose one day. I was so confused and started to get emotional again as Tala stepped closer and pointed to Chet’s house. “He seems like good man. I will tell Nah of your words. And, if Nah will speak with you, I will tell Mr. Chet to tell you.” 

“He is a good man... I’ve trusted him a long time,” I nodded. 

“Enough to tell him your secret?” she asked me. 

I sighed, knowing Josh told me not to even tell the man I loved the truth. “It’s something I need to think about… This is scary for me, Tala... The sheriff... he’s been like a best friend for so long... If he found out…” 

“That is what I thought. You worry people will find out because it will put you in danger. Well, we are always in danger. I would not expect a warm welcome, when you obviously feel shame at being Apache,” Tala nodded. 

“It’s not that I’m ashamed I just... I’m scared and confused and I…” I swallowed hard. 

“Do you think we do not fear? Yet I am proud that all know I am Apache!” Tala picked up her bucket and gave me another nod. “You think on who you are, before you can think of how to help us. But, still, I will tell Nah. He is chief. It is not my place to welcome you or not. Yadalanh, News Lady.” 

I sighed as I watched her walk up the hill, and swore at the position I’d been put in.