Georgetown.
This morning I sat upstairs in the couch in front of Slade’s room drinking coffee and waiting for him to wake up, but he never came out of his room so I decided to go downstairs for a while, then after waiting even longer I headed outside and went for a walk, realizing I should probably head out to the mines to see if any activity had happened with Rocksman lately. As I walked around I hoped that one or both of my dogs would join me… Wahya joined me and we continued to walk around. We saw the chief standing nearby and I decided to go the other way with Wahya, heading back to town. I told the dog we’d go back out to the mine when we had more backup.
Colorado Springs.
I headed over to Colorado a couple hours later and greeted Adder who was sitting in front of the office. “Hey there sheriff. Can I interest ya in a drink at the saloon?”
“Howdy Trin... Drink? Aye sure.”
We went to the saloon and got some whiskey and I asked him how everything was going around there. “Funny you should ask. Its been quiet, til yesterday when the Mayor gets a note pinned to her door.”
“Oh really?”
“It was a threat, $100 per citizen to be paid to the Black Hand Gang, two days from today, or they burn the town down.”
“The Black Hand gang? Never heard of ’em,” I raised an eyebrow.
“Me neither. Today there was a note pinned to my office, saying "Pay us or burn", and that there were 2 days left. Frank Ingalls got the same note on his shop, and one was also pinned to an empty dynamite box in the bank.”
“Strange... why Frank’s place?” I looked at him and pet Wahya as he came over to sit beside me.
“One of the few businesses that has expensive stock thats hard to replace I guess.”
“Mikk’s got a similar store over by the docks.. He wasn’t targeted?”
“Mikk’s business isn’t like franks, franks has all sorts of dresses from expensive materials,” Adder shook his head.
“Ooh… I see,” I nodded. “Did you read the note at all?”
“Aye, a transcript was given to my office, its a threat, BADLY disguised as an offer of protection. Same kind of thing we were dealing with when Pablito was trying to extort from folks in Amiville. This is potentially much bigger though.”
“Sounds serious indeed if they’re targeting the mayor herself.”
“Aye. They want to scare the whole town.”
“What are you gonna do about it?”
“The usual. Gather lawmen, then catch ’em and put em on trial.”
“They don’t want anything specific? Money or anything? A disguise for an offer of protection you say?”
“I DID say, they want $100 per citizen, to be paid two days from now,” he coughed.
“Sorry Taurus... Been a couple of intense days back home,” I nodded. “Maybe I should’ve mixed some coffee with this whiskey.”
“Aye I heard a few things about Georgetown.”
“You haven’t heard the latest I’m sure. There’s a bounty out for Icca. Iza sent out a telegraph sayin’ 500 L for anyone who can hogtie his butt to somewhere where she can get him,” I said and Adder chuckled. I looked down at Wahya and said, “He thinks I’m kidding.”
“No, no I believe it. Doesn’t stop it being funny,” Adder shook his head.
“The funny part is... I ain’t seen Icca anywhere since he was in that saloon the day he shot me down.”
“Good riddance,” Adder shrugged.
“Let ’em at it is what I say,” I nodded and finished my whiskey. “I’ve given up goin’ through Bear River. I went to the border this morning, saw the chief standing there and turned around back.” I debated telling him about Slade, knowing their circles wouldn’t cross, but I looked around nervously and sighed.
“Something bothering you?”
“There’s this guy who came into the saloon last night.. .Said he’d been talking with the cherokee all day and had worked out a deal with them, that if we worked together to rid the area of outlaws then we and the natives would be at peace. I couldn’t believe it , Taurus. This guy goes and does in one day what I’ve been trying to do in three months? It sounds a little too good to be true.”
“HA! Now where have I heard that before?” Adder laughed.
“But he just walked in there.. like it wouldn’t make me upset... told the marshal, sheriff, and my boss that he’d worked this deal. And I’m sitting there like are you kidding me?!”
“No, the Chief wants war. He’s probably just buying time while he plans his next attack.”
“So we went to talk alone in the spot where we’d planned to talk if needed... He walked over and was like ’I know you’re mad… And I said, ‘you’re damn right I’m mad.’ Thing is Taurus…” I swallowed hard, knowing I couldn’t break Slade’s confidence but I was still upset with him.
“Go on.”
“This is between us,” I looked around and he nodded. “He’s part Cherokee,” I said, realizing I still hadn’t said Slade’s name, so his cover wasn’t completely blown. “That’s why they listened to him, I think.”
“All the more reason not to trust him!” Adder raised his eyebrows.
“I think I can use that to my advantage though, Taurus,” I shook my head. “He can get in and find out why the natives called me a traitor and a coward. He can let us know when they’re planning attacks.”
“He can lie to you all and lead you into a trap. He can tell them when you’re at your weakest.”
I sighed, remembering how I felt when I was with him. “They already know I’m at my weakest, Taurus. I’m sure of it.”
“He’s part Cherokee.... they’re damn near family to him. Blood is thicker than water. I meant the town.”
“I don’t know what to do, Adder. This guy could make or break me. He gave me a key to his hotel room.”
“And he could ruin the whole town. You can’t keep it to yourself, too many lives are resting on him being on the level.”
“I have to talk to Sam, don’t I?” I bit my lip.
“Yes. You must. If this guy is all he says he is, then he’s got nothing to worry about.”
“How did I get myself into this one, Adder?” I sighed and he shrugged, chuckling. “Or maybe.... everything I’ve been through has been to prepare me for this very situation.”
“You’ve just got to tell Sam, and let him handle it. There’s not much else you can do.”
I sighed, knowing he was right. “But Taurus I think I…”
“No buts. This is too big for you to handle.”
A girl from Kansas pony express came over and gave us some mail. I sighed, seeing my old newspaper and shook my head. “The Western Herald… That feels like forever ago that I started that up.”
“A lot has changed,” he nodded.
"That it has…” I sighed and reached down to pet my dog. “Guess I should head home and deal with this stuff I’ve been thrown into the middle of.”
“The sooner you do, the better. You don’t need it weighing on your mind. Let Sam sort it.”
I nodded and reached over to squeeze his hand. “Thanks Taurus. I needed this.”
“Any time. You know where to find me,” he said and I headed home.
Georgetown.
I walked down the street and sighed, seeing Slade sitting in front of my place. “Slade…” I said with a sigh.
“You seem... Off Miss Trin... What’s the matter…” Slade looked at me.
“Let’s talk inside,” I said and we walked into the office. I took a deep breath as I sat at the table.
“You do not trust me anymore do you…” he looked in my eyes.
“Seems I’m being advised against it…” I tried to look back in his eyes.
He held my gaze and said, “I have trusted you with who I am and what I am.. And what I do... What is there that you don’t trust about me…” he held my gaze.
“I just... I hardly met you. I don’t know that much about you. Then you come into the saloon in front of my boss and partners and claim you’ve saved the world... Then out of nowhere you give me a key to your hotel room. You’ve gotta see where that would leave me a bit uneasy.”
“This shows you I hope that I have nothing to hide from you… I hold no agenda... I only seek peace here in these lands... Someplace to keep safe… And meeting you... It gave me a reason to fight for that peace…”
“Do you understand where I’m coming from at all?” I held his gaze.
“I want to protect you Miss Trin…” he smiled.
“I’ve heard that before,” I looked away.
“You miss Trin... I do not break my promises to you,” he stared at me.
I looked directly in his eyes and said, “I need to know what’s going on in Bear River... I need to know what changed. Why they suddenly think I’m a traitor. I think I know but... I want to hear their side of the story on this one.”
“I will approach this topic carefully for you Miss Trin…"
“Don’t make it obvious that we…” I looked at him. “That we…”
“That we are seeing each other?” he raised an eyebrow at me.
“I would say yes…” he said and I looked down, unsure. “I hope that we can work on this Miss Trin... I am looking forward to spending more time with you... But for now... I need to go to Bear River. Please... Keep what you know about me to you till I return…”
I nodded and looked at him with another sigh. “Be safe. And make sure they don’t know that we talk. They will shut you out for sure.”
“I will look into it…” he nodded and pulled his dust cover back up over his face. “I care for this town miss Trin... and I care for you... And I care for my people... Be well... I hope to return with good news…”
I pulled out my notebook and tried to distract myself with more writing while I waited for him to return. I knew I had to talk to Sam and went over to the saloon. I saw him sitting there and he greeted me.
“Howdy Trin.”
“We need to talk.”
“What do you need to talk about?” he took another sip of whiskey.
“Slade,” I sighed.
“That new undercover deputy?” he asked as Sugar came in. “So talk away then,” he nodded to me.
“He’s over in Bear River right now talking with the cherokee. He seems to have built up quite a rapor with them.”
“Not sure I trust that fella,” Sam nodded.
“I’m in a bind, Sam…” I sighed as Wayha came over to sit beside me.
Slade walked into the saloon as Sugar headed out of the saloon. “How’d it go?” I asked Slade with a sigh as he walked over to us with a smile.
“It went well, Miss Trin.”
“Did it?” I asked with some surprise.
“Yup. It did, the sheriff and the marshal will both be pleased…”
“And me?” I looked at him.
“That’s a different story... I would like to talk to you in private about that…” he said.
I swallowed hard and looked over at my boss, who shook his head. I took more whiskey for myself and said, “Whatever you need to say you can say it in front of my boss too.”
“Alright then... He says he doesn’t trust you cause he feels you are working both sides for your own personal gain…” Slade nodded.
“My own personal…” I started. “What the hell gain do they think I’m getting from this?”
“He is wary of you Trin... but I think he will warm up to you again…”
I laughed, doubtful. We’ve tried, Slade. Countless times. Again, as I said last night, look where it got me.”
“I know, Miss Trin… But I think I can help you if you will let me…”
“What was the chief’s words exactly?”
“I know you barely trust me but know that i want to help ya... I want to help this town… If I remember correctly he stated you spoke more words then trees have leaves…”
“Of course he did,” I sighed. “He usually uses a lot of words to say very little.”
“That he does... But I came here to find a little bit of peace to come into this war of tribes, towns and outlaws... I can reason with this town and the tribes but outlaws I cannot stand…” Slade nodded.
“All I’ve ever done with his side is try to bridge a gap of communication in order to achieve the same end.”
“Something you did or said changed his view of you Trin... He wants to trust you again... You just have to work for it…”
“Sure he does,” I shook my head and noticed Sam chuckling at that. “What the hell did I do anyway? He’s the one who threatened me in front of Icca’s office, who set the sheriff’s office on fire while he knew I was inside, who ambushed the damned fort in Mesa Verda shortly after I left talking to him in Bear River… All I’ve ever done was try to restore some sort of peace between us and he just keeps knocking it down,” I looked over at Sam for help.
“I can understand, Trin… And as I said before, I want to help you.”
“Help me how?” I sighed.
“By helping you regain their trust... Miss Trin... I have not said in front of yer boss here that I have taken a liking to you…” Slade said and I chocked on my whiskey.
Sam looked at Slade with a cold eye and grumbled something under his breath sounding like, “Damn kids.”
Slade looked at Sam and then me. “I mean those words, Miss Trin… Down to the letter.”
I swallowed hard, still not sure how to feel, and looked at Sam and he asked, “What are ya lookin at me fer woman?”
“Everything that Miss Trin her presents… She is strong willed, determined, independent, and caring of others…” Slade went on.
“Slade... stop. Now’s not the time,” I shook my head and Sam chuckled.
“I was answering your boss’s question…” Slade looked at me.
“Let’s just focus on the problem at hand. How do you intend on helping the chief trust me again? I don’t even know what I said or did to make him not trust me,” I sighed. “I still want a circumstance or a phrase I said that made him not trust me.”
“We will over time gain back the trust you lost with the chief... I will see to it personally... Other then that... I do not know what you did... he did not go into details…”
“Of course not,” I sighed.
“Maybe a visit sometime with me would help ease some tension if you like... Meet on a common ground…” he looked at me. .
“I just wanna know what the hell changed. We talked, the chief, the war chief, me and Chet. We all talked and agreed to disagree on our methods of dealing with the outlaws,” I looked at him. “You mean like when I went to him with a native man thinking it would help, or when I went to them with a US Marshal who had jurisdiction over there ’cause I thought that would help?”
“They did not speak as I did to them then... If you come with me I will see to it that different things occur... and that you can have your time with him to hear what he has to say…”
“Sam... help me out here. I already know that going over there with Slade ain’t gonna make a hill’o beans difference since I’ve tried and tried and it’s gotten me nowhere. I go over there and try to make peace but then I get burned. Literally,” I looked at my boss.
“Agent Trin, do you know why I hired you?” Sam looked at me.
“Would help to hear it again,” I sighed.
“Because I saw someone with the potential to make her own decisions and to live by those decisions. Someone with intelligence. Every Pinkerton agent must rise above the standard of the norm and become an independent, free agent… Thinking and doing and deciding on their own in the heat of the moment.” He turned to me and said, “Be that person.”
I nodded, knowing he was right. “That’s why I bought this Sniper, Sam,” I looked at him as if Slade wasn’t there. “I wanted to prove that I mean business now; I’m not gonna hide from conflict and I’m not gonna sit and cower in the corner.”
“You also have to make yer own decisions, Trin, and not look to me for every guidance.”
“Then get offa that stool put that fire water away and come with me…” Slade looked at me.
“If I stay in town and let this tension between me and the chief build... Perhaps it will get to the point where he won’t even try to reconcile and he won’t hesitate to take me down too. If there’s some chance of reconciliation, even if it seems slim, maybe he’ll give me a second chance when he sees that I’m working with Slade.”
“Good day, folks,” Sam stood up then. “I have some things to attend to in Mesa Verda.” Sam dusted himself off and headed out the door.
Slade reached for my hand and I looked at him, considering. I put the flask in my jacket and followed with Slade, letting the dogs follow me. “Let’s go,” I said and followed him out of the saloon.
Wyoming.
“May I have your rifle, please?” Slade turned to me. I remembered they wouldn’t want me to be armed and wondered why I’d not just left my gun at home.
“They have their medicine woman here... She means much to them and you armed... Is not wise... I bring you to speak with her... She is wise... and she will make Standing Bear listen…”
“Careful with that thing. I just bought it,” I handed him the gun.
He took it and hid it under the tree branches. “It will be here if you need it…”
“It’d better be,” I muttered.
“Come with me, Miss Trin,” he reached for my hand and I took it. I hesitated and stopped at the end of the bridge, looking over at him. “I know the drill.”
“I have brought someone to speak with the wise mother…” Slade shouted and removed his hat, letting his hair flow. I swallowed hard and saw the woman walk over, not recognizing her.
“Osiyo wise mother... This is the lady Trin,” Slade introduced.
“Cherokee hair should not be hidden,” the woman said to Slade. “Chief speaks of you Trin.”
I thought to myself, I’m sure he does. I swallowed hard, looking between them, nervous at the mention of the chief as Slade said, “Of course Wise mother…”
“I have known chief a few months now.”
“What did you do to make Chief distrust you paleface?” the woman asked.
“That’s a great question,” I sighed and got a bit emotional. It hurt, not being welcome into the family I’d had for so many months.
Flint walked over then and looked at me. “A long time since seen you.”
I wiped the tears from my eyes and saw Sammi walk over and greet me too. “Osiyo Trin is good to see you again.”
“Good to see you both again too.”
“Osiyo Slade,” Sammi greeted him. “What is wrong my friend?” Sammi asked me.
“Young ones this is Slade, he is part Cherokee too,” the medicine woman said.
“Osiyo miss. I think it’s best we let the wise mother and miss Trin talk about this matter of the chief…” Slade said to Sammi.”
“What cause trouble between you and chief Trin?” the woman asked.
“That’s the thing, Ma’am, I have no idea. All I’ve ever tried to do is understand your culture, be apart of your family, fight against the same outlaws that have fought against me.From the beginning, that was my only goal. To protect your tribe.”
“And now?” Sammi asked.
“Wado Flint, but chief does not trust Trin for some reason so I dare not invite her into village while he is away,” the woman said.
“When I became a Pinkerton Agent and started wearing a gun, I was reluctant to bring my weapon into the tribe so I didn’t. But then things became more dangerous... My life was threatened, I was no longer safe to leave the house alone.”
“I meant did you want Samara and me to cross back over the river so can talk,” Flint said.
“All I ever wanted from your tribe was a safe place, a place to call a second home,” I choked at the memories, but pressed on. “I opened up to the chief, I told him everything about me.”
“You shall hear this too young ones," the woman said to the others standing there.
“There were no secrets. If he wanted to know things, he could ask. And I told him. But then when he got shot down by Icca... He sent me a wire to tell me that he was in trouble and I came running. I ran up to the top of the mountain and saw this chief, this man I had trusted and come to know as a chief of my own in some sense… I didn’t think about my own safety. I didn’t even bring backup. I just ran. When I got to where he lay on the mountain, I was shot down by the same man who shot down your chief. As if to prove to your tribe that I have been running from the same people that you are all running from now.”
“So you risk your own life to help him.”
“I did,” I nodded. “But after that day... something changed. I’m not sure what it was... But whenever I would come to see if he was okay, it was like I had outlived my welcome and I wasn’t sure why. This place was my family,” I said the word again, letting it sink in.
“Do you think he feels you lead paleface to him?”
“He has mentioned that he could believe that, yes. But the paleface outlaws that attack this tribe were here long before I showed up.”
“But how if she was not here till he called?” Sammi asked.
“So this bad man finds chief and you accidentally came upon them?” the woman asked.
“I am sure that you knew of Icca, Buu, Rebel... all of them... long before I came to this village in November.”
“How did you know this Icca come for chief?”
“The chief said that Icca and Jules and Anna were the ones who shot at him. He sent me a wire when he was up on the hill. He told me that he had been shot down. That’s how I knew that he was in danger, and that I needed to come fast.”
“Something does not add up for me. If he sent for you and you came, I do not understand why he does not trust you.”
“You and me both.See the thing is.. After we came back to the village that day... They had captured Anna and tied her to a tree. They cut locks of hair from her as punishment for being involved in the shootout. Then... the native men and the Chief turned to me, asking if I wanted to be apart of it,” I choked a bit at the memory.
“This is our way,” she nodded.
“For so long... I have tried to solve violence by words, not by bullets or any other methods. I have tried to be diplomatic, to promote peace by speaking things out and understanding the other side. That’s why I spent so much time over here, talking with the tribe. It was to understand your culture, your family, your language. He may mistrust me because I’m paleface. That could be the only reason. But Ma’am… The reason that I became a pinkerton and did not work directly with the law… Was because I wanted to solve crimes with my mind, not my gun. I wanted to understand people. To help them. To maybe try and change them.”
“This I can understand,” Sammi said.
“Bullets only make the problem worse,” I looked over at Slade.
“Dancing Spirit may I say something?” Flint asked.
“Violence is not always the answer no,” Sammi shook his head.
“The gunfights... the dynamite... it only escalates the problem,” I said and Slade nodded with a smile at me.
“So Trin, Chief asked you if you wanted to join in when he took captive. What happened after that? When I witnessed that day how they treated that poor girl… I just... I turned away. I had to walk out of there because I felt like they hadn’t been listening to me the past couple of months. Like they didn’t understand that my mission was to fight outlaws with words, not with violence. See... I run the newspaper over in Georgetown. Words are power.”
“Please Flint, say your piece.”
“Trin…” Flint started. “When we first met some moons ago now you spoke of working with marshals… who wanted to solve the crimes committed against our people. What has become of these marshals?” Flint asked.
“Back then... I didn’t understand the gravity of the problem I was walking into,” I said. “I didn’t understand that the marshals were few and far between…”
“If I may speak after you, my dear…” Slade looked at me.
I nodded to him but continued. “The last conversation I had in this village… I came with a U.S. Marshal for that very reason. Because I knew taht he could maybe do something about it.”
“But now?” Flint asked. “My apologies to you Slade you wished to speak.”
I sighed and looked past them, looking out at the village that used to be like home as Slade looked at Flint. “I have spoke with the last marshal in town... As well as the sheriff and those of the Pinkerton like Trin here they are willing to help bring justice to those that have ravaged these lands that were given to us by mother earth…”
“One thing I have heard consistently in your words is the use of the word ‘I’,” Dancing Spirit looked at me and I swallowed hard. “What you want, what you feel, yet you say you want to be considered a part of the Cherokee tribe. We do not consider the I’s everything in our culture is ‘we’. We are all one. You seem to doubt our customs.”
“The problem is, ma’am, if I may…” I started. “"For the longest time... I felt that I was with your family. Then all of a sudden, it was just I.”
“You question the teachings of our ancestors,” Dancing Spirit said.
“I hear your words brother. But how many of our people must die, before the marshals act?” Flint asked.
“Something changed after that day when the chief got shot down..” I said.
“We shall speak of this when the current matter is dealt with brother... Please be patient…” Slade nodded to Flint.
“You are young and I have seen this many time, the young think they can change the world over night,” the woman said to me.
“The last few weeks we have been trying to understand what changed, Ma’am. And in all honesty... it breaks my heart.”
“When chief had his people give justice to the woman you speak about, you did not approve of this? You saw this woman as one, and chief as one.”
“No,” I shook my head.
“You felt sympathy for someone who comes to kill the Chief of our tribe?”
“No,” I shook my head. “I saw the tribe as a family who didn’t understand why I went to them in the first place.”
“Did you put this village in danger because of your actions Trin?”
“There has been no action. All I ever did,” I choked up and looked at Slade for help. Slade walked over and took my hand in support.
“I think Trin is young and still trying to learn our ways grandmother,” Sammi said.
“It is hard to understand that what we do, we do to survive,” Dancing Spirit nodded.
“She needs our guidance maybe.”
“The Chief has all of us to care for, every warrior, maiden, child, pup. Every decision he makes has to be made for the good and survival of our people.”
“Yes I agree it is great responsibility.”
“So if he does not bend to your will, Trin, it is because he has more to consider than your wants and needs.”
“But would Trin come to us now if she was not being honest with us?”
“All I have ever been was being honest,” I told them.
“I have not seen otherwise Trin.”
“I feel she is being honest, but honesty is not all that chief is concerned about,” Dancing Spirit said. “Even an honest person can bring danger to our village.”
“I think maybe Trin needs to settle this with the chief alone,” Sammi said.
“Honesty does not mean that you are careful or considerate.”
“One can be honestly wrong as well,” said the woman who called me a traitor, making me back up. I looked at Slade, desperate to go home.
“That is true Black feather.”
“But she would not risk all to come here as she has tonight,” Sammi said.
“Trin what do you seek from the chief?” Dancing Spirit asked me.
I felt surrounded and looked to Slade then back at the women. “I want there to be peace. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. All we’ve both ever wanted. We just go about it in different ways. But we don’t need to go against each other. We both just want the outlaws gone.”
“So you want him to respect your ways?”
“That’s all of our goals. That’s always been our goal.”
“White woman wants what is best for white woman. She thinks only of herself,” Black Feather said.
“The last time we talked, I thought we’d reached that respect. We agreed to disagree on the methods against the outlaws so long as we were both fighting the same people,” I said. “The war chief, the marshal, the chief, myself... We all discussed this and agreed on that fact. We’re all working to the same end here.”
“White woman makes many empty words.”
“So what is the problem as you see it?” Dancing Spirit asked.
“The problem is that we can only fight them if we fight them together. With open communication and honesty,” I said.
“This is why I came here wise mother... Last night.. To talk with our chief…” Slade said.
“So you want him to lay the lives of his people in your hands?” Dancing Spirit asked.
“No,” I shook my head. “We lay each others lives in each others’ hands. Together. As one family against the outlaws. Like when I came to help the chief when he was shot down by Icca... Without concern for my own danger,” I said as Slade held my hand and smiled.
“I think husband is much talking here and maybe should be with chief,” Sammi said. “Maybe we should leave them to talk a while.”
“I let sisters speak as much wiser than me,” Flint said. “I be good listener.”
“And me. Come, husband,” Sammi said.
“I will tell Chief that you wish to speak with him,” Dancing Spirit said.
“Tell chief that when we speak, it will be with Slade present,” I told them. “We are all a family. Slade is the connecting piece.”
“Chief will tell you how you will meet. You tell Chief nothing,” Black Feather said.
“Trin, you fear Chief?” Dancing Spirit asked.
“I am just proving your earlier point, that we do this together,” I shook my head.
“She means much to me wise mother... And I care for her... It is why I seek peace between Cherokee and Georgetown... For peace in these lands and respect for all…”
“Black Feather should cut your arrogant white throat,” the woman drew her knife but Dancing Spirit held up her hand to stop her. She glanced at the older woman and sheathed her knife as Slade stepped in between us.
“Trin you ask that chief trust you, yet you do not show trust when you say you want your man present at meeting,” Dancing Spirit said.
“You show disrespect to Chief,” Black Feather said.
“He is part of your family. I am respecting the fact that we do this together,” I shook my head.
“If he gives word he will not harm you, he will not,” Dancing Spirit said.
“YOU ARE NOT IN CHARGE HERE WHITE WOMAN!” Black Feather shouted at me. “Chief decides who will be allowed to meet with him, not you.”
“If the chief wishes to speak with her in private I will honor the chiefs words... I will accompany Trin to the meet but will leave when it begins..” Slade looked between me and Dancing Spirit.
“Trin, one day you will see, you cannot always hide behind others, one day you will find your own courage,” Dancing Spirit said.
I sighed and said, “Every time that I came to this village, I was alone. Until something changed on that hill when the chief was shot down.”
“You cannot fight for our people if you are not willing to lay everything on the line for them.”
“I came out to your village alone, unarmed. For weeks. Months,” I looked at Slade for help.
“Each of us are willing to lay our lives on the line fore the good of this tribe.”
“I will help her find her courage wise mother.. When she has found it... I will send her here to speak with your chief alone…” Slade said. I knew I had laid my life on the line when I went to rescue the chief, but I said nothing.
“If she lacks courage, she is of no use to the Cherokee.”
“Can we just…” I looked over at Slade, wanting to go home. Slade moved in front of me as the bear came out of nowhere and swiped at me. Dancing Spirit turned and walked back to the village. I looked at Slade, saying I knew that our talk would have gone badly, and turned to walk home.
“That’s a first step…” Slade said to me.
“Just give me my damn gun and let’s get out of here,” I snapped at him and went to find my gun.
“Trin… Stop. Will you help me show them that you are worth this…?” Slade asked and put a hand on my shoulder.
They’re not worth it, Slade. It’s done. I’m never going to be welcomed back there again,” I shook my head. “I don’t even know if I want to be.” I choked my tears and tried to be tough. The bear continued to approach us but I called for my dogs and walked back home.
Georgetown.
I leaned down to make sure my dogs weren’t wounded and Slade knelt down to offer me his hand. Take my hand Trin... We will find your courage together…” I pulled away from him and he looked in my eyes, but I looked away. “Do not cry... The great mother... She is old in her ways but knowledgable... I am here for you... And I said I would protect you... Show the Cherokee that you are worth it…”
“You freaking ambushed me,” I glared at him.
“I ambushed you?” he blinked.
“I may be worth it, but they are not. You just stood there and let them talk to me like that.”
“It was no ambush and it was words that needed to be said... You now know why they do not trust you... Do you not?”
“You didn’t help them see that I did give up my damn life to save their chief. I got shot down because I went out there on my own, with no dogs or backup or anything. All I had was my gun. I willingly went up on that damn mountain. Lay there with the chief until we got healed.”
“I have one question for you Trin... And this will make me either aid you or remain your friend... Will you embrace our ways of the ‘We’... Will you understand what was said to you by the wise mother? I care immensely for you miss Trin... I am verging on saying three words I have never said to another woman since my mother the day she was taken from me…”
“I took a deep breath and looked at him. “I want you to understand something. The way that tribe has treated me... not only this time but in the past several months… They couldn’t care less about me, they’ve made that pretty damn clear. I am never, do you hear me, never walking back into that village again. But you…” I looked at him with a sigh.
“There are those there that wish to see you again... And the wise mother is on your side even if she did not seem to be…”
“I don’t want to hear about them anymore. The only one I am willing to speak with from that tribe now are you or Adahy. And I will only meet with Adahy on our land. Not on his. That’s it, Slade. That’s it for the rest of them. I’ve been burned long enough. Literally.”
“Will you do me a favour Miss Trin... Please... Meet with the chief once…”
“No, Slade,” I shook my head. “It’s not worth it.”
“It is worth it Miss Trin…”
“I will speak with Adahy and he can give the message to the chief. That was our arrangement anyway. The chief was the one who appointed Adahy to be our communication between the tribe and the town. So I will respect that and use that line of communication to the fullest. But as for speaking directly with the chief or any of them... That’s done.”
“That shows no courage... You must show your courage... Just as Sam said... You are a brave woman... You must show that now... Face your fear…”
“Damn it, Slade. Courage is only for those who deserve it. It took courage for me to walk back there today. It took courage for me to walk back there that day before I got ambushed in the fort.”
“They are willing to fight with georgetown against the outlaws... They are going to put their lives on the line... Does that not deserve your courage…?”
“I walked out there, alone, and spoke with the chief in the field. After how they just treated me?”
“I saw respect for you... Until black feather arrived…”
“Black Feather and Julia should have nothing against me. I have never interacted with either of them. Hell... Julia, Jules, was one of the ones who fought with Icca and Anna against the chief.”
“This I did not know... But still this means nothing now... For now the light of the sun is on you Miss Trin... It’s time to either shine or sulk into the shadows... What will you do…? I want to help you shine…”
“I need time. I need you to understand how hard this is for me. I need you to understand what just happened from my perspective. The only way that we’re going to be able to pursue anything, Slade, is if you see this from my side too. If you understand the hurt I’m going through and not ignore it.”
“Fom your perspective I brought you into a ring of bulls to be pounded on without end... I am sorry but as I said words had to be said... But now is the time to learn... and grow from those words…"
“Let’s just go home,” I shook my head.
“I do not ignore your pain my dear... But it is had for me to see... We can go to you place or to our place... And talk... And I will understand this for you.. But know I made you a promise... That I will take care and protect you…”
I reached out my hand in the direction of the village and asked, “Was that protection?” I walked off to Georgetown and didn’t let him answer.
“Sometimes lessons are hard…” Slade shook his head.
Georgetown.
We walked back to town and I looked at Slade, wanting to punch him hard. I punched him in the chest and then just fell in his arms, crying. He wrapped me close in his arms and stroked my head. “It’s going to be alright. From here it will only get better,” he said as he held me tightly. I cried against his shoulder, knowing things would never be the same again.
***
That night, I went to knock on Slade’s door but got no answer. I went to the dock, but he wasn’t there either.
Kansas.
I decided to go to the Cheyenne tribe, knowing they would still welcome me with open arms. I called out for Hawk and Sasha and saw Sasha standing by the fire. I remained quiet as other Natives were there too and I tried to wipe away the tears from my emotion.
“Sasha I…” I started. “Sasha, is Hawk here?” I looked around, seeing them all talk, and said, “I should go home but I had to come and check if Hawk was here. Can you tell him I need to talk with him soon? I can’t stay long... it’s not safe.. I just…”
“I’ll give him the message when he comes home,” Sasha said.
“Thank you Sasha. It’s urgent.” I headed home before it was too dark.
Georgetown.
I walked into the saloon and hesitated before knocking on Slade’s door. he opened the door and smiled at me. “Come in, Trin…”
I nodded and walked inside, not sure where to start. “I don’t know why I’m here,” I looked at him. Slade offered me his hand and stayed quiet. “I’m sorry I was so upset with you. All you tried to do was create peace and I was too blind by my anger towards the tribe that I took it out on you.”
He kissed me deeply, closing the door behind me and pulling me into him. I knew he was what I needed, even though I had fought it all the way there. He let his hands caress me as we kissed and he asked, “Join me tonight?” he motioned to the bed.
I swallowed hard, still nervous about taking that step, but I knew it wasn’t safe to be on my own tonight. “I don’t feel safe being alone tonight. Not after the past few days…”
He smiled and took me in his arms, laying me on the bed as he smiled softly. “I seek nothing sexual of you Trin, know that... I told you I would protect you…”
“But I still…” I leaned my forehead against his.
“I care a lot for you, miss Trin, and this bond that we have made between us grows stronger by the day... I feel safe in saying that I will not let harm come to you from the Cherokee..” he whispered to me.
I nodded against his chest, thinking about how ironic it was that I was spending the night with the man for protection when he was the reason I’d gone into the village that day in the first place… “I am scared, Slade. I won’t go back there, not even with you. I don’t care if that makes me a coward. It doesn’t mean I have to open myself up to that kind of language again. I will fight the war on this side with you here, but I will only communicate with Adahy from there. I will do my job and I will do it well. Without the distraction of mind games from that tribe.”
I lay in his arms and tried to relax, feeling safer in his arms. “Sleep well, Miss Trin..” he kissed my cheek. “Tomorrow’s a new day…”
“That it is…” I sighed and fell asleep in his arms.
It wasn’t long before I woke up from an awful dream, trembling from fear. “What’s wrong, Miss Trin?” Slade woke up.
“Slade…” I called, wondering at first where I was. “They... and I... and…”
“Breathe lass... what did you dream about…?”
I swallowed hard, shaking against him. “Slade they…” I cried against him as he stroked my chin, holding me closely.
“They what?”
“In the dream... you remember earlier... they talked about the girl they tortured after the shootout on the chief… They cut her locks of hair.. I dreamt that… That the chief cut a shape of the bear claw in the palm of my hand, like they’d done to her. Just like when I was in that damned cave and Bill….” I traced the actual scar on my forearm.
“Your safe here with me dear... I will make sure they do not harm you again…” Slade held me close.
“It was so real…” I trembled against him, trying to believe him.
“Sleep my sweet… sleep… Rest your mind… Today was long and hard on both of us…” he caressed my cheek and held me close as I fell asleep again.
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